I have been wondering what would be the topic of my first post in my own blog for a few weeks now. Finally I have an answer. I am attempting to live life more as an optimist and it would be nice to grapple with the subject of optimism. I have laid my hands on a good book on the topic called "Learned Optimism" by Martin E.P.Seligman. This book talks about how to change one's mind and hence one's life by managing your thoughts and reactions to adversity. Adversity happens. It is how we manage our beliefs emanating out of the adversity which determines our approach and hence the consequences of what happens next. The book talks about when to be optimistic- in achievement situations( when you are looking for a promotion, winning an olympic gold for India etc), in situations where one is concerned about how one feels, events which might be protracted and related to physical health and if one wanted to be a leader and inspire others to greater achievements.
According to the author, the fundamental guideline for not deploying optimism is to ask what the cost of failure is in the particular situation. If the cost of failure is high, optimism is the wrong strategy.
So how does one change their beliefs in the face of adversity?- The author suggests 3 ways-Distraction- "Think of something else" which oftens helps one to forget about a pessimistic belief occuring. Distraction could also be the act of writing down your thoughts and giving time to think it over. The second way is Disputation-Dispute the negative thoughts and replace them with more positive thoughts or beliefs. The third way is Distancing-distance oneself from pessimistic assertions.
Some of the ways suggested to dispute in the book are- providing evidence to the contrary, provide alternatives, think through implications- what is the worst that can happen and is it a big deal and finally usefulness- is this belief helping?.
Once you have disputed the negative belief, the last step suggested is "energization". This is the act of redirecting the thoughts to positive territority.
I wanted to share a story of one die hard optimist in my life- my father.
Twenty plus years ago, when my father was in his mid forties, prime of his career- adversity struck in his and our family's life. He was diagnosed with brain tumor and had to undergo surgery. I remember vividly what struck me throughout the whole process was that my father exhibited great optimism. Following the ABCDE model suggested by the author Seligman- I wanted to revisit what I assumed was his mental thoughts.
Adversity:- I have a brain tumor which is making me sick
Belief:- The tumor has befallen me at this time in my life when I need to be working and not falling sick. This is going to affect my ability to earn a livelihood and support my family- will I ever recover from this.
Consequence:- This will devastate the entire family and friends
Disputation:- The tumor is not malignant and only benign, I am lucky to be in the hands of one of the most skilled surgeons in India and he has plenty of experience dealing with even greater problems
Energization:- I am in great hands and I will come out of this just fine. I have to get back to that project in 3 months.
I saw my father recover after the operation in 3 months and get back to work. Was the operation a complete success- No!He lost hearing in his right ear but it never affected his attitude. He is a born optimist. Actually he is a die hard optimist.
As his son, I cannot let him down. I NEED TO BE AN OPTIMIST. A LEARNED OPTIMIST!!!
